What I need
What I need is simple and yet complicated.
I just need to know why is everything the way it is.
What is the point in going through this endless suffering.
What is this good for. What is the purpose.
Does it have any?
What is my life worth for now… What do I have left… And why.
Everything is out of my control, I’m just a puppet moving along the strings of what some call fate, others destiny…
I can’t decide to stop loving you. I can’t decide to have hope again. I can’t stop crying every night.
And everyday that goes by, it’s just more prove that this will be like this forever, this is not gonna change.
… and all I need is just a reason why things turned out this way.
If I could know it, I would have something to fight for.
But now I have nothing, nothing to hold on to, just this pain.
My dreams were already made true, and I was just useless enough to not keep them alive…
So what do I have now?
I can’t believe something in my life will happen to make all of this worth to go through, what on earth could possibly happen to make it up… A miracle, that’s what. And hey, they are called miracles for a reason. They never happen.
How can I possible believe that something that good could happen to me, after all my experiences and failures…
It doesn’t even matter what I might deserve or not. It all depends on pure luck… And I have run out of mine.
So, lemme ask you something… For how long am I supposed to stay like this until you realize all of what I’m saying?
When will you realize…?
Predictions
Just like I predicted,
I’m at the point of no return.
I can’t go backwards,
and all corners have been turned.
I can’t control it, if I sink or if I swim…
But I chose the waters that I’m in.
And it makes no difference, who is right or wrong…
I deserved much more than this,
’cause there’s only one thing I wanted.
If it’s not what you’re made of,
you are not what I’m looking for.
I was willing, but unable, to give you anymore.
There’s no way…
You changed,
Cause some things will just never be mine.
You’re not in love this time… But it’s alright.
I heard you talking, but your words didn’t mean a thing.
I doubt you ever put your heart into anything.
It’s not much to ask for, to get back what I put in.
But I chose the waters that I’m in…
What’s your definition of the one?
What do you really want me to become?
No matter what I sacrifice it’s still never enough…
Just like I predicted,
I will sink and I won’t swim…
‘Cause these are the waters that I’m in.
PD: my own version of the song.
